Farewell Zambia, Hello Minnesota

A great ending in Zambia -- More Pics Here
"It helps now and then to step back and take the long view. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No program accomplishes the church's mission. No set of goals and directives include everything. This is what we are about. We plant the seed that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. e lay foundations that will need further development. We cannot do everything and yet we can do something and do it well. There is a sense of liberation in realizing that. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for God's grace to enter in and do the rest. We may never see the results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders, ministers, not messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own."

El Salvador Archbishop Oscar Romero, Martyred in 1980

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon and it seemed like a good time to write out last post from Zambia. We are heading home next week and, strangely enough, will be waking up in Edina wondering where to file these last couple years of experiences.

Leaving and moving home fills us with multiple emotions - excitement, gratefulness, loss of this season and chapter of life, "undoneness", anticipation and more...

The quote above from Oscar Romero answers well much of what we have wrestled with as we finish our time here. The idea that things are not complete and still undone in many ways. I am comforted by the idea that I am the worker and not the master builder ultimately responsible for fixing what is broken. All of us are simply called to do our part. Whether that is in Zambia or Minnesota or California or Colorado...

I'd love to be neatly summarizing our last years here but of course that is both impossible and unwise. The lessons and learnings of this time will take a life-time (and then some) to sort out. What we do know is that we are grateful that we've been here for this season, just as we are grateful to be heading home to friends, family and familiarity. We also know that it has been great to be able to share this experience with you. At times our being here has made the most sense in relation to the things we heard back from you, so thank you for being with us in spirit.

Some of you have asked what is next for us. For starters we are moving back to Edina (where we kept our home) and removing our wild & unruly tenants (Molly's parents) to settle back onto Branson Street.

We have started our own company, Africa Business Development Partners, where I will be working to help companies, organizations and individuals develop and grow partnerships with Sub-Saharan Africa. I could not be more excited for the opportunities that have already developed and for others that are unfolding and I'm grateful that I will be able to remain deeply connected to this place both vocationally and personally.

This summer will be full immersion for all of us back into life in the U.S. -- camps, sports, weekends at the cabin, a trip to Colorado etc. and we are all very excited for this. Our stuff, which is being packed up this week, should arrive in early August so we will have the "empty house" again for a couple months. (Roller-blading in the living room anyone?)

So, when we write again, it should be from the U.S.

We welcome your prayers for what we anticipate to be an even bigger adjustment than moving to Africa - moving from the developing world to home - and can't wait to see you soon.

Zikomo (Thanks)

Jeff, Molly, Mackenzie, Clara & Bennett

Easter in the Village

Last week I visited one of our project areas a couple hours from Lusaka. I was struck by the beauty of the rolling hills and fertile fields, the warmth of the Tonga people who live there, and the grace and dignity of the chieftainess (one of just four women chiefs in Zambia) who rules the area. I asked our staff member, Dream, if I could bring my family back to camp for Easter weekend and he agreed to set something up for us. We arrived home last night and I have to say that our time in Chikinkata was one of our highlights of our time in Zambia.

Dream had us set up our camp in a small compound comprised of several empty mud and thatch huts. Similar compounds dotted the hillsides and ripening cornfields covered every valley as far as the eye could see. Kids herding goats and cattle, and women walking back and forth collecting water and firewood, as they have done for millennia, surrounded us. And there we were, white folk from Edina, Minnesota, right in the middle of it all.

PICTURES OF OUR WEEKEND HERE…

It did not take long for the kids to figure out that we were in a sweet spot and they dove in…Making friends with the neighbor kids, chasing goats, running to the tops of the hills. Total freedom. Each morning and evening the women and children would congregate around the well to gather water. Our kids would join them to help pump the cold, clear water into buckets. Our kids would speak to them in English and they would speak back in Tonga and somehow it worked.

Clara picked up on the communal aspect of the village. She said, “everyone helps everyone else…” She is right. Africans by and large still hold closely to the concept of “Ubuntu” which roughly translates to “I am, because we are…” It fleshes out the second of Jesus’ two great commandments, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” As Desmond Tutu says, “A solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. A totally self-sufficient human being is ultimately subhuman. We are made for complementarity.” As Westerners conditioned to individualism it is refreshing to be immersed in an “Ubuntu” context. Desmond Tutu goes on to talk about how just as individuals have something to offer one another, so do different nations and people groups. There is not a better or worse. He says, “God is smart, making us different so that we will get to know our need for one another. We are meant to complement one another in order to be truly human and to realize the fullness of our potential to be human. After all, we are created in the image of a God who is a diversity of persons who can exist in ineffable unity.” (From the intro. to An African Prayer Book.) An example: Each morning the woman next door walked over, greeted us kindly, and took a coal from our fire with no more thought than if she was getting matches out of her own cupboard.

On Saturday morning we drove (in four-low) up a road, over a river, that became a trail, that became a dry river bed - until we forced`to stop driving. We proceeded to hike for a couple miles, further and further into antiquity. Ox-drawn carts, shepherd boys, simple huts…It could have been 2,000 years ago -- Which was an interesting time to be in as we reflected on Easter. The world that Jesus lived and died in was not much different than the one we found ourselves in this last weekend and, in that, we felt much closer to the Jesus whose resurrection we celebrated.

On Easter morning we were up before the sun (with the roosters) and enjoyed a brilliant sunrise. True contentment. We had an Easter egg hunt (a little strange given the context) and then we packed up our camp and went to meet Dream for church. Since it was Easter Sunday, several of the churches gathered together at one spot. Each year they rotate the location and, let’s just say, we drew a bad year. We drove for a good 30+ minutes over rough roads to get the site of the service. The kids were already going nuts before the THREE HOUR service in TONGA was going to begin. Fortunately, Dream was acute to our Western sense of time and volunteered for us to go at the half time of the service, before it even started.

The trip to church did have another purpose in that we think we might have found a small piece of land, on a hill-top, that we can purchase - something that we have talked about doing before we move. This inexpensive piece of land, with million dollar views, could be the future site of a small African home for friends and family to use in years to come to experience what we did this weekend – Ubuntu. We’ll let you know what happens and how many cattle we may need to part with to secure this ground.

We board a plane two months from today and there is excitement all about. We are trying to store-up the treasures of this time, like this weekend, knowing that they will take on dream like characteristics in the months and years to come. I am reminded again of the Robert Frost poem that I reflected on as were preparing to leave MN two years ago - Nothing Gold Can Stay – we continue to try to learn to live life with open hands.

Peace from Africa –

Jeff, Molly and Kids

Update After the Rains

The sun is breaking through a LONG rainy season and we find ourselves amazed that we are on our final stretch of our time in Africa. More on the emotions involved in our inevitable departure in a bit, but first…

There are a couple of reasons why we haven’t written in a while… First, the rains got us pretty muddy (literally and figuratively.) Late December and early January was, I’d say, our toughest window here with near constant monsoon rains that got us all a bit stir crazy and irritable. So, being inspired to write a blog was one of those things that got shelved to make room for dealing with trying to keep everyone on board this train.

Secondly, both Jeff and I had fairly last minute trips to Minnesota that were nearly back to back, but not together, that kept us busy with the logistics of single parenting/juggling being continents apart as a family, Preparing to go, being apart, and the work of coming back together and finding our equilibrium took a lot of our logistical energy mid-January to early February. So… here I sit a week into March finally sharing the last few months with you.

Our trips to Minnesota were both VERY full and COLD and WONDERFUL. I (Molly) had a lot of anxiety that I’d feel overwhelmed being home after having been here in Zambia for over a year, but it was good and filling. I came home for a week with my dearest Zambian friend, Dorothy Phiri. She is the founder/director of Mercy Ministries—the Chifundo Mission School with which we have been so involved. Colonial Church in Edina has begun a missional partnership with her and brought us to MN for a week of sharing with their church community about her life and ministry. We also had the opportunity to share about Zambia/Chifundo School with a couple of different schools. It was truly a gift to be with her there in my world after having spent much time together here in her world.

We have had a few visitors since the rains have slowed—Jeff’s mom came for another visit, which was such a gift for all of us. She came geared up to come alongside me and help with our little school here and she was FABULOUS! She spent a chunk of time with the girls each day doing an English/literature/writing unit and reading a chapter book with Bennett. Mostly, it was wonderful to be with grandma. There is nothing better than seeing your kids with your parents and the magic love that they share!

My aunt and uncle (mom’s brother and sister in law) and cousin, Brad, Linda, and Ashley Baker are here for a quick visit from Atlanta. It has been fun to have them here. Jeff and I were talking last night about how great it is to have visitors—how it causes us all to reflect on and share about living here in a way that we don’t when it’s just our family living day to day life. It’s really wonderful as our time winds down here to continue to have that gift—of sharing our time, and our love of this place, with people we love from home.

A few random reflections from day to day life:

As with everything, we’re on the downhill stretch with our year of home schooling. It has been a great experience for all of us. It feels rhythmical now, very doable. It isn’t something I could do for the long haul, but I think we are all glad to have spent this year this way. It has been a gift to watch how the kids learn this year, to see what they really enjoy, to understand more the places where they need encouragement, to watch light bulbs go on, etc. All of that said, everyone is chomping at the bit to be back in “real school” next year!

We are having a blast playing soccer outside in the late afternoon/evenings as a family. It’s the latest on a long list of memories of this time that are shaping/have shaped our family life in a way that we are so grateful for. Jeff and I are regularly catching ourselves “in the moment” stopping and realizing what a treasure this chapter has been as parents to really invest time in our kids (and each other) in a quanitity that we’ll never be able to duplicate stateside. We’ve recognized that the whole time we’ve been here, but it gets more poignant as our time here comes to an end.

We’re finding ourselves feeling some similar emotions as we prepare to leave here that we felt as we were preparing to leave Minnesota two years ago… First, that sense of freedom that comes from not projecting out too far. It’s amazing, really. One of the gifts of this move has been simply in the moving. There is a release from the clinging to what we want “next” to be that comes in endings. It’s funny because none of us EVER knows what the next four months will bring, but when our backdrop isn’t changing it’s easy to live like we know exactly how things will unfold (and to stress about it!) Knowing all our earthly goods are going to be packed up in a 20 foot box in 10 weeks and shipped across the ocean and that we are leaving life as we’ve known it for two years somehow leaves us free to just enjoy the NOW a little more.

We also have a similar feeling of soaking up the goodness of our life here—time with these new friends we’ve made grows sweeter, the smells and sounds of Africa grow richer and louder. I feel like I’m seeing it all again—the dirt worn footpaths full of people streaming to and from their work/school, women with bundles on their backs and on their heads, men hauling all manner of things on bicycles. Except now there are stories with some of those people. It is a similar rich KNOWING and LOVING that we felt as we left Minnesota, not the same history but another chapter of knowing and loving.

At the same time as these emotions, the excitement for getting HOME is preeminent. Once again we are deeply aware of and grateful for the sense of home that we all feel. We can’t wait to be back on Branson Street, to be with Nana and Papa and Uncle Brad and Aunt Carrie, to bbq with friends, to go to soccer games, to go to the cabin, to spend time in Colorado, to be back at Upper Room… There are times when we all feel like we could burst with excitement for the returning…

Meanwhile, we continue to live in the story that is unfolding here. Just yesterday, I ran into James, one of the street kids that we have connected with here. We haven’t seen him since late November. I said to Jeff recently that I honestly wondered if he had died. I saw him yesterday when I was going into the grocery store. He told me that he hasn’t been around because his grandmother (who he was living with in town—both parents have died) has died and he is living out at a family farm now. He asked me to come to see him at his school next week. He has made something in art for Clara. He didn’t ask me for anything. He wants us to see a bit more of his life. This was probably the highlight of my week.

Last week, I had the gift of bringing a group of women out to the Chifundo School to see the work that is going on there. It was so exciting to see the school through the eyes of women who live here, but haven’t really seen “the real Africa” here. We went into the Chainda compound to visit a couple of families connected with Dorothy’s ministry. One is a family with a handicapped child who is living in a temporary “flat” because their house literally crumbled during the rains. The other was a widow living with full blown AIDS and housing her 4 grown children and 2 of her grandchildren in a 2 room house. She was sharing with us through her caregiver that she has been tested for AIDS and can get the ARV’s (drugs to stave off the effects of the disease—to keep her alive), BUT… she doesn’t have the money to get enough protein to be able to take them… this was a rubber meets the road moment for me… I was standing there looking in the window of her home as she shared her story, feeling responsible for this group of women, my head reeling with the complexities of the issues here… and I found myself somehow at home. I was aware of how natural it felt to be there. As we walked back to our cars, I was realizing that my heart really has come full circle—from a longing to know the poor, to a hardened/confused knowing, to a somehow-ok-just-in-it-coming-alongside-entering-in knowing…

The conversation between Jeff and I these days centers around, “What now? How does this experience translate back? Who have we become? What are our responsibilities now?’ I don’t feel too caught up in trying to figure it out, I am confident it will unfold, much as the being here has… That God will have his way with us in the places where we don’t resist His shaping…

Thanks for “being with us” in all of this… Couldn’t do it alone.

Love from Here,

The Dysktras

p.s. It is almost 2 years to the day that we published this post...

Lessons (re)Learned

Christmas Day, Lake Malawi - Mackenzie (11) Clara (9) Bennett (6)
I'm sitting on our back patio looking out on the tropical forest that is our yard - 3 or 4 straight weeks of daily rain can make it seem like you are literally watching things grow before your eyes. The sun just popped out and you can feel the humidity starting to climb. I guess you could say it is opposite of a Minnesota day in December.

We just got back from a wonderful week spent in neighboring Malawi - a country few people had ever heard of prior to Madonna's adoption of an orphan from the country earlier this year. This is a shame. (That no one knows of Malawi, not Madonna's adoption). The people and the actual country of Malawi are a treasure - easily the friendliest people I've met anywhere and the country itself is beautiful, dominated by the presence of tropical Lake Malawi, which runs the whole length of the country. We spent Christmas at a great resort where we played endlessly in crystal clear, crocodile and disease free water that combined the best features of a lake and an ocean. Pics Here. All in all it was a great end to the year.

Speaking of which, we just celebrated a full year of living in Africa. We arrived back here after our unexpected trip home for Bennett last December 26th. As we face the reality that we are leaving this place and heading home this next summer we are beginning to ask the question, "What has this time meant here?"...We don't have the answers, but we know we want to process the question. Here are a few reflections on some things we have learned/been reminded of in 2007.

1) Where ever you are, there you are...

Moving to the other side of the world, and to Africa no less, you'd think you could show up and really be a new, different, improved version of yourself. Interestingly, all of our various "isms" travelled with us and took up residence in pretty much the same place that they lived in Minnesota. There is no doubt that being in a such a radically different place causes you to re-look at yourself and the world as you know it, but at the end of the day, we have found ourselves wrestling with some of same issues. The bad news in this, is that there is no place any of us can go in this world to get away from ourselves. Whatever fantasy we might hold out along the lines of, "If only I lived/had/did/became/ _________, then I would become the person that God really wants me to be" is, just that, fantasy. The good news of this reality is that we are free, and in fact called, to be exactly what God wants us to become where ever we find ourselves. For as long as I live, I will believe that, for some reason, we were supposed to here in this time, but I have a new appreciation for the fact location does not hinder, or enhance, our choice to be "salt and light."

2) Extreme poverty is daunting and really complex...

I wish this wasn't so. Working for one of the world's largest (and I would argue more effective) aid agencies, you'd think there would be a sense of being able to figure this out if we just had enough resource etc. While I am more impressed than ever with our local field staff and the unbelievable work they do and the life changing difference they make, I am more burdened than ever by how hard change is to come by. On a personal level, our family has made some steps toward trying to help some street kids that our paths frequently intersect. I won't go into the details here, but we are 0-3 in bringing about any real change. If this were the record of a sporting team that would be one thing, but we are talking about being 0-3 in the REAL LIVES of REAL KIDS who are suffering immensely every day. I share this not out of despair (although there are days you can feel this...) but mostly out of the conviction we need to keep humbly working to bring holistic solutions to help the poor in ways that can create lasting change. As Americans we love our "silver bullet" approaches. "If we just do X,Y or Z then we will have this thing fixed." We know that the poor will always be among us, which should keep us humble, but we should not stand for the massive numbers of people around the world that are living in extreme, life threatening poverty. (By the way, the BBC, starting on Jan. 9, is doing a radio series on living on a dollar a day which billions around the world are forced to do...If you are interested, I'm sure you could pick this up online at BBC or podcasts. )

3) To balance point 2, all of us (together) can make a difference....

We arrived home from Malawi to a hand-written note from a woman we met once, for less than 20 minutes. She is the widow of Kelvin, our former security guard. After Kelvin died, our family decided to use some of the TFC funds that many of you have generously contributed to try to help her start something that could generate income for her and her children. In all honesty, I'm sad to say, we have not thought of or prayed for her since I gave her the money. Here is an excerpt of her note, which is really to all of you who have supported TFC.

"...The business is going along fine - My main reason for writing this letter is to thank you for your kindness and good gesture which you showed during and after my husband's death. Sir, may the good Lord almighty, through our savior Jesus Christ, bless you deeply.

I really don't have the words to thank you, but let God alone thank you. Without your help I really do not know what I would have done and how I would have supported the three children that Kelvin left with me.

Let God alone pass his favors to you, your family and your friends - I shall never forget what you have done all my life."

Yours Faithfully,

Judith

Once again, I'm reminded that sometimes God does take our efforts, big and small, and multiplies them to accomplish the vision of "His kingdom, on earth as it is in heaven..." I am privileged to work for an organization that is driven by the idea of our hearts being broken by the things that break the heart of God and thankful for the millions of lives that are being improved every day around the world as a result.

4) Africa makes sense to an outsider if you are here less than 2 weeks or for more than 10 years....

Someone shared this with us recently and I think it is true. Less than two weeks and you can come up with your own "silver bullet" theory (see point 2) - more than 10 years and you finally begin to come to terms with the beauty, tension, poverty, disappointments, hopes, dreams that are Africa. (So I'm told.) Anything in between this produces blog entries like the one you are reading - discombobulated at worst, hopeful, despairing, confused at best.

5) There is no place like home...

We are all meant and built for community. As powerful as the experience of living here is, it does not compete with the power of relationship and knowing and being known. We will not be fully home this side of heaven (see point number 1) but we are thankful for the approximation that comes from being rooted in a place and pursuing our ultimate home with others we know and love and who know and love us.

Thanks,

Jeff, Molly, Mackenzie, Clara & Bennett

Home, Nyanja, and Flying Ants

A Zambian Delicacy...

Mwaka bwanji (Good Morning!) Mackenzie here. I decided that we needed a new blog so I am going to write it. Here it goes. Right now all of our family is really missing home on a lot of different fronts. First is the fact that we have not seen most of you for over a year now. Secondly is just the sense of home. Saturday runs to Brugers, bike riding around lake Harriet, you know, those types of things. I sometimes feel like I am just about to burst because I miss Minnesota so much, but other times, like now where I am sitting in the living room, listing to birds and looking out on a beautiful yard and thinking “why leave?” I have the tendency on hard days to blame whatever happened on where I am. Especially living somewhere like Zambia where there is a lot of tough stuff. It is human nature to want something and then you get it and then want something else. Now that we know that we are moving back this coming summer I am really striving towards living life to the fullest while I live in Africa.

Next is Nyanja, which pretty much means a lot of different things. Our housekeeper, Dorothy, is trying to teach our family Nyanja which is a pretty hard job. Trust me. With home schooling every morning my mom has a quote a scripture and a math problem on the board for us to write/read/solve before breakfast. Just a few days ago she started writing a Nyanja phrase on the board for us to use sometime within the day. Nyanja is the local language and every Zambian will know it. Since we have been doing this I feel closeness with Dorothy, George and Derek. It gives me an understanding of what they go through everyday to talk to the Dykstra family in English. Their culture is amazing and it is cool to learn bits and pieces of it through their native tongue. Speaking of their culture they also do some crazy things.

Today I witnessed one of them, eating flying ants. (see photo above) So the process starts out by these huge ants/termites with wings drop from the sky at night. Then this morning I woke up to our guard, Derek on his hands and knees picking these dead insects of the ground. I went out and asked what he was doing and he replied that he was ‘putting them into a bucket, boiling them, frying them, setting them in the sun to dry, then boiling them again, adding salt and eating them.’ Interesting. Well that is all I can say today and I can’t wait to hear from you guys!

Zikimo Kwambiri (Thank You very much) for reading this…

Miss you,

Kenzie

Hope, Loss and Bicyles in Zambia

Testing (o.k., playing on) a World Bicycle Relief Bike
All is well here in Zambia for our family. We have had lots of fun guests this month and continue to enjoy getting to introduce old and new friends to the wonderful people and places of Zambia.

Earlier this month we had a reporter here from NBC doing several stories on World Vision and some of our partners.

The following story was written by John Larson about part of his time here and features World Bicycle Relief, a great organization that is providing 23,000 bikes to our caregivers (called "field care specialist" in the story) and child-headed households. These bikes are making a huge difference and are yet another example of how a relatively small investment can improve a life and equip Zambians to help Zambians.

HOPE, LOSS, AND BICYCLES IN ZAMBIA

Be encouraged today.

Mad Mamas, Another Loss and time with (the) Pope...

It is hot. Really hot, and the calendar tells me it should be cooling down by my North American standards. Instead the heat will continue to build. The hot weather takes me back to almost a year ago when Bennett’s health started to decline culminating in our unexpected trip home. There are certainly some days here when one or all of us would succumb to the knife for a trip to the States… Is that sick or what? There is no place like home.

Following are some reflections/happenings from the last month in no particular order…(I’ll start with a mostly fun memory to get things off on the right foot…)

Mad elephants, cheap fishing rods and eagles….

A few weeks ago we went with another family deep into Kafue National Part to camp on the Lafupa River. A couple unusual things happened that we will always remember.

First, as we were driving in to the campsite around sunset (when the animals are most active) we came upon a herd of elephant moms and their babies. We proceeded down the dirt track towards them expecting them to do what elephants normally do – ignore you and slowly wander off. Instead, the dominant female came fwd. out of the herd, trumpeted, waved her ears and charged us…I threw the truck into reverse as she came barreling down the road towards us…The kids (and perhaps Molly) were screaming, I’m trying not to go off the road as I reverse, and, once again, asking myself how I find myself here…The elephant pulled up 20 yards shy of us making it very clear that we should not proceed fwd. We waited, she waited. Finally, after 5 or so minutes she started back to the herd only to make one more charge as I slowly pulled fwd. Finally they wandered off and we proceeded. The best line was later that night when Bennett came up to me and said, “Man, Mom and the girls were sure scared…” I did not have the heart to remind him that he was screaming and crying louder than anyone. (We found out later that this particular part of the park had been heavily poached years ago and the elephants remember, thus the charge. We also found out that had she kept charging and caught us that she could have flipped the truck and stomped it to bits…comforting.)

The second memorable thing happened the next day when Bennett and I went fishing. We were trolling lures behind a boat and Bennett insisted on using his toy Mickey Mouse Target fishing pole. I explained to him that when he hooked a big fish the line and/or the pole would break. He insisted so I decided to go with lessons from the law of natural consequences and procceded to put on a cheap lure and cast behind the boat. Not 5 seconds later he had a big fish on and was smiling ear to ear as he reeled with all his might. I was smiling and (smugly) waiting for his line to break when, out of nowhere, a huge fish eagle (the size of a big bald eagle) swooped down and picked up Bennett’s fish…So now, on his toy fishing pole, Bennett is fighting a large fish and a larger eagle who is flying south with his fish…After about 10 yards the eagle drops the fish and Bennett proceeds to land the fish with the biggest smile and sense of satisfaction I think I’ve ever seen. (The fish had a chunk of flesh taken out of his back by the eagle…) Bennett, caught 5 or 6 more fish on his toy rod. What do I know.

Kelvin

Three weeks ago we lost another close friend. Kelvin, our wonderful guard left our house at 6:00 p.m. and was dead that night at 10:00 p.m. No one is sure what he died of, AIDS, TB, Malaria? But the bottom line is that he died from poverty. Living in Africa statistics have names and faces and they play with your kids, and greet you with a smile day in and day out. Statistics leave behind grief stricken wives and kids who wonder how they will now survive when they were barely surviving before their loved one died. Kelvin was a good man – not a statistic – and we miss him very much. We are sick of the death and dying that is so much a part of our life here…Not a week passes where someone we know or someone one step removed from us does not die. When Kelvin died it once again was too close to ignore.

A few days before he died Kelvin helped cut down several trees in our yard. He worked hard on stacking the wood. The next week his family came by to pick up the same wood that we had donated to use for his burial bonfire, a Zambian custom. I’m guessing Kelvin had no idea that the wood he was stacking would be used for his own funeral days later…A solemn reminder for all of us to live each day fully without the delusion that we are some how controlling our own destiny.

Time with (The) Pope and his Crew

Last week we had eight Minnesotans descend on our house for breakfast. What a gift. Chris Pope and a group of friends were here in Lusaka for a night before we headed up to the Democratic Republic of the Congo to visit Kolwezi, a World Vision project that this group has been funding for the last couple years. Several of us had been there 2 years ago so it was great to see the progress that has been made – a brand new school for 700 kids and a water project that is providing clean water to thousands. Anyone who doubts that a small group of people can make a big difference needs to contact any of the guys on this trip….(Dave Anderson, Jeff Steele, Ray Cabillot, Lonny Evans, Matt Paschke, Anthony Zeller and Bill Schmidt)

We then flew down to Livingstone and Victoria Falls where we had a day long adrenaline fest rafting Class V rapids below the falls (if you know any of the guys on this trip, make sure they show you some photos or video of us getting WORKED on the river…) and then bungee jumping off the bridge over the river. Everyone survived and it was great to be with good friends.

Honest Feelings

We try through this blog to share with you the reality of living here. This can be hard at times both because it is confusing and hard to articulate and at other times it is just hard and it is tough to share hard things. We are giving you a pretty honest snap-shot of the ups and downs. Following are some “shared with permission” reflections from Molly’s journal…I’ll let these stand without comment other than to say I’m very proud of my wife.

"Sitting in front of the still pool-- a ripple just went out from some sort of water bug-- made me think of the lake at the cabin. And then the craziness that 9 months from now that will be my reality. Sitting on a green chair down at the dock drinking coffee while Jeff fishes and the sun comes up. Living, breathing, in the land of the rapidly changing seasons-- and all of this will be a mist over a valley-- I'll be sitting on my little mountain top enjoying the fresh air.

What am I going to do with all this? With these faces, with these people? Where do I store this time in my life-- that is so penetratingly real and raw-- but that, even in the midst (let alone when I'm no longer here), can feel like a fuzzy surreal dream.

I'm told to soak it up, to enjoy my days, to live fully, to bloom where I'm planted...How do I do that? Is that o.k.? What does that mean in this context-- where what I'd like to "bloom into" is a Beth Moore Bible Study, lunch with my mom, fall, thanksgiving at the cabin. Where enjoying myself so often means someone who is black, African is serving me-- washing our swim towels, watering our flowers (meanwhile, there is no water in the compounds right now...none...they are walking miles to get a bucket at a time...for cooking, drinking, bathing), opening and closing our gate as we go to and fro...always smiling...

What do they really think of us? It is unfathomable to me that they don't resent us for all that we represent-- unthinkable wealth and freedom of movement...and if they DON'T resent us in some ways that feels worse-- to be o.k. with scraping by, serving white/rich people. I have access to all the best-- even here--and an all-expenses-paid escape plan if that's not enough...and they get by with what they've always known, which is death, disease, a month-to-month fight for survival, for living... Oh, Lord, help us to love well...

Maybe I'm coming to some good, new place...Maybe I'm going over the edge of cynicism. Maybe my heart is finally being broken by what I am witnessing. Maybe what I'm feeling is my skin thickening, hardening, building a shell of protection around me...

God, keep me soft, penetrable, moving in the right direction. Help me love my kids well today, to love Africa well today. To take what comes today as the life You mean to be unfolding in me. Help me to make sense of it all, or if not, to walk trustingly into my day, knowing You're holding me-- that You've known all along about these realities-- that You somehow live with this tension-- so much more than I can fathom. And You love us all. Help me to live a little like that..."

Keep letting us know how you are doing - a one way conversation is no fun. jeff@dykstrafamily.net or molly@dykstrafamily.net.

Thanks for walking with us.

The Dykstra Fam.