The Loss of a Friend
Sometimes the brokeness of this world seems like too much. We came home Tuesday night from a short holiday with Brad and Carrie to perhaps one of the worst tragedies I've ever been close too.
Let me back up. When we moved here a year ago (exactly a year ago yesterday) one of the first people we met was a wonderful man named Namushi. He was the gardner at the house next door. I remember well the first time I met him, his wide smile and warm and welcoming demeanor.
As we got to know Namushi my respect for him continued to grow. His four children adored him and it was clear that he was committed to giving them everything he could despite his own humble circumstances. He was constantly working extra jobs (with great expertise) to be able to send his kids to the best schools and was always working with his kids on homework and making sure they were speaking English at home. I've rarely seen a more loving or committed Father in action anywhere.
His kids became good friends to ours, particularly his youngest son Lucas, who is Bennett's age and has become Bennett's best friend here.
When I became discouraged at the many problems this country is facing, I would often think of Namushi and smile and know that one life and one family at a time, things were changing for the better and that in a generation this country would be in a different place.
On Tuesday night we came home to the news that, beyond all reason, Namushi had killed himself on Sunday in front of his wife and three of his children. I can hardly write this down because it is so incongruent with the man I knew. We knew that there were some problems in his marriage largely due to several very poor choices his wife had made - but to take the action he did makes no sense. We are all very, very sad both for the loss of a good man and even more so for the trauma he has caused in the life of his children, Quintin, Exit, Trenche and Lucas.
At the burial in the village on Tuesday, his wife and the kids' mother was named publically as the cause of death, further traumatizing the kids. We don't yet know what is going to happen to the children, but we think it is unlikely that Namushis' relatives will allow the children to be with their mother. We are hoping to see the kids later today and learn more.
This extreme act has jerked the rug out from underneath us and cast a light on the daily brokeness that we are surrounded by. It is easy for us, with our expat life, to show you the nicer side of living in Africa when the reality is we are living in war zone created largely by poverty, disease and death. As Christians we know that we live in a fallen world desperately in need of redemption. As affluent, western Christians it is easy to forget this truth. Living here we are reminded daily of the broken world in which we live and understand in new ways Jesus prayer, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven..." Those of us in America are not immune from suffering or brokeness - in fact it just takes different forms, e.g. materialism/affluenza, isolation, greed etc. But here, when I am honest, the brokeness is so in your face and offensive it can literally make you nauseous.
Please join us in praying for Namushis' children and family and for somehow this situation to be redeemed.
Selfishly, pray for us as we enter our second year in Zambia that we will continue to see, and be, light in the darkness.
Jeff
Let me back up. When we moved here a year ago (exactly a year ago yesterday) one of the first people we met was a wonderful man named Namushi. He was the gardner at the house next door. I remember well the first time I met him, his wide smile and warm and welcoming demeanor.
As we got to know Namushi my respect for him continued to grow. His four children adored him and it was clear that he was committed to giving them everything he could despite his own humble circumstances. He was constantly working extra jobs (with great expertise) to be able to send his kids to the best schools and was always working with his kids on homework and making sure they were speaking English at home. I've rarely seen a more loving or committed Father in action anywhere.
His kids became good friends to ours, particularly his youngest son Lucas, who is Bennett's age and has become Bennett's best friend here.
When I became discouraged at the many problems this country is facing, I would often think of Namushi and smile and know that one life and one family at a time, things were changing for the better and that in a generation this country would be in a different place.
On Tuesday night we came home to the news that, beyond all reason, Namushi had killed himself on Sunday in front of his wife and three of his children. I can hardly write this down because it is so incongruent with the man I knew. We knew that there were some problems in his marriage largely due to several very poor choices his wife had made - but to take the action he did makes no sense. We are all very, very sad both for the loss of a good man and even more so for the trauma he has caused in the life of his children, Quintin, Exit, Trenche and Lucas.
At the burial in the village on Tuesday, his wife and the kids' mother was named publically as the cause of death, further traumatizing the kids. We don't yet know what is going to happen to the children, but we think it is unlikely that Namushis' relatives will allow the children to be with their mother. We are hoping to see the kids later today and learn more.
This extreme act has jerked the rug out from underneath us and cast a light on the daily brokeness that we are surrounded by. It is easy for us, with our expat life, to show you the nicer side of living in Africa when the reality is we are living in war zone created largely by poverty, disease and death. As Christians we know that we live in a fallen world desperately in need of redemption. As affluent, western Christians it is easy to forget this truth. Living here we are reminded daily of the broken world in which we live and understand in new ways Jesus prayer, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven..." Those of us in America are not immune from suffering or brokeness - in fact it just takes different forms, e.g. materialism/affluenza, isolation, greed etc. But here, when I am honest, the brokeness is so in your face and offensive it can literally make you nauseous.
Please join us in praying for Namushis' children and family and for somehow this situation to be redeemed.
Selfishly, pray for us as we enter our second year in Zambia that we will continue to see, and be, light in the darkness.
Jeff
posted by The Dykstra Family at 2:41 AM
3 Comments:
Jeff and Molly-- My first thought, beyond the horror of Namushi's death and now his absence, is that God knew a year ago that these children would need to be literally clothed and enveloped in Love as this story unfolded. And then He sent the Dykstra family...filled and overflowing with more Love than just about any family I know. And because we are so far away and can do nothing to help, I am praying that God would literally hold you during this dark, dark time. Heaven on earth is closer because of you guys. I am so sorry for this deep sadness.
Jeff, I'm sorry that you and your family and the children of Namushi have experienced such an incomprehensible loss. I'm crying for you and for a family I don't know. Just take comfort that you are making such a difference in the lives of many lost people and it would be so much worse for those little children if the Dykstra family were not there.
Aunt Jan
Jeff and Molly.
Oh Lord - I am so sorry for your loss of this dear friend and neighbor and for the ache and grief and anger that the family of Namushi must be experiencing. How stark the reality of our desperate need in this world for the healing, love and grace of God. Prayers are with you as you seek to bring that love during this time of deep darkness and sorrow.
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