Victoria Falls, Chicken Pox & Spring in October
Well, here we are. It’s mid-October and the leaves aren’t turning golden, they’re flowering! It’s spring. It’s so different here, so good but there’s much to miss about home. We straddle the emotions of gratitude and overwhelm at the goodness of what we have here and the sadness of missing life there. Know that you are not forgotten!
I am actually home this week with Clara and Bennett having mild chicken pox. They were both vaccinated, but have gotten them anyway. They are fine, a bit itchy, but really just psyched to be home from school playing together. We’re doing a bit of school each day, keeping the math facts fresh, but mostly just having fun (i.e. our table is covered with art supplies, dress up stuff is on, etc.!)
Mackenzie is knee deep in all that it means to be in your last year of grade school academically. She is in the process of finishing the typing of a (long) short story that she’s written about a family during the Holocaust (she LOVES historical fiction), doing research for her end-of-the-year project, practicing math facts, keyboarding and reading for her book club! She’s so diligent about coming home and getting a snack and jumping into it. She participated in her first swim meet last week also and had a blast.
I am feeling connected to other moms here in some really neat ways. I love the kids’ school, it is very parent-friendly. Have really enjoyed being in the girls’ classrooms. I am a part of a small group of women gathering weekly for meaningful conversation and a Bible study. Have some gals I feel I can call (like if I think my kids have chicken pox!) We have a couple of neighbors (families) who are great that we have spent time with. Thankful for all these connection points—I didn’t expect to have them already at this point.
We just got back from a weekend away in Livingstone, home of Victoria Falls. (You can see some pictures on our photo page.) We had a great time getting away, “camping”—in safari tents, seeing the Falls (albeit they were low because it is the end of the dry season.), watching bungee jumpers, taking a river cruise at sunset, etc. The lodge we stayed at was rich with monkeys, which I’ve always thought of as really cute, but they thought Bennett was really cute, too, and went after him a few times! Seriously. Also, Bennett swam on his own this weekend. It was so exciting, just like all those milestones—he did it. And then there was no stopping him. He swam all afternoon, back and forth across the pool. Very fun.
I felt like I really needed a break from all that goes into our life here in Lusaka…I was tired of dealing with the realities here. I had a boy come to my car window for food as I went into the grocery store on Friday before we left and I almost screamed. I just wanted everyone I saw to be fed and have shoes on and SEEM FINE. The very thing that can drive me (and most of us) nuts about life in the States—everyone looks and acts like they have it all together—is what I was longing for. It’s easier to stay in my own little cocoon that way. There was something nice about getting in the car and seeing it all through the windows as we drove out of town. I felt like an outsider and I needed the space. Is that terrible? It’s honest…
My friend, Michele Steinke, asked me some poignant questions in an email that I think I’ll answer here (with her permission):
You talked about George and Dorothy being so much part of your daily lives- but how radically different their lives are. I can imagine how - but do you get a sense of what they think about rich - I'm assuming mainly white - foreigners coming in for a year or two - doing what you're all doing, and then leaving? It seems there's not tons of Americans - but do you have a sense of what Zambians or G & D are thinking about America? Is it the Promised Land? Do they think we help the world? And are your ideas changing at all?
I asked Dorothy (our maid) a few weeks ago in a really honest, vulnerable conversation if she resented us, if there is any part of her that is angry that we have what we do and she doesn’t and she is IN OUR HOME everyday. She said no. She is so thankful for her job and the setting that it is in. As I am home this week Dorothy is not here (because she hasn’t had the pox) and I am doing the housework. George smiles at me as I am hauling laundry, sweeping the patio, etc. When I told him I haven’t ever had house help before he didn’t believe me. I think there is some level where all they have ever known of white people is what we are—wealthy and only here for awhile. And, with George and Dorothy, there is a STRONG spiritual connection. There is a sense of being a part of the Body of Christ with them—an equality that way which is cool (and maybe different from some of their other experiences.) As far as what other Zambians think, I don’t really know. Most of the Zambians I have intersected with are amazing “Mother Theresa” types who aren’t hung up on who’s here and why and what their motives are. But, I’ll tell you that I am troubled by “us”—mostly white people, coming in for a stint and living. It is hard for me, all the big landcruisers and trucks (including ours) with USAID or DFID (British gov’t aid arm) or BAPTIST MISSION or whatever on them. And most Zambians walking everywhere. It can feel like all the things that are comfortable here (coffee shops, swimming pools, a nice private school) are just here for people like us, and not for most Zambians…it’s confusing…
I know part of Jeff's thing had been to have his family live and be part of the world that has (I forget what percent) but the lower percent of the world - is it what you guys thought the experience would be (so far?) It's still so early on - but any initial thoughts of “this is exactly what I thought it would be like?” or not?
Both, would be my answer. I knew it would be hard to see poverty so up close, day in and day out. I didn’t expect the “can’t it just go away” feelings. It’s also so DYNAMIC. Just when I think I have something sort of “figured out”, it changes. For example, there is this boy who was on the corner by our neighborhood grocery store (again, don’t picture Lund’s or Jerry’s) who I was really getting to know. I had spent quite a bit of time with him. Had been to his house in his compound. Etc. We were out for ice cream with Clara about a month ago and he found us and asked us about going to this other school and if we could pay for it. I knew he hadn’t been going to the school he was supposed to be at.... We had a long talk with him about needing to show us that he would be in school, even though he didn’t like that school and if after a month he had been going, was doing his homework, etc. we could talk about paying for him to go the school he wanted to go to. Haven’t seen him since that night. We were talking to some friends of his just before we left for Victoria Falls and they told me that he is living in an orphanage on the other side of town now. I couldn’t understand the dynamics with his grandmother (his parents have both died). He’s just gone now. (As a side note, which isn’t really a side note: the boys we were talking to all live with their grandmother, too, and would rather be in an orphanage because “at least there you get food every day.”) So, it’s just not ever the same. Some days Dorothy is super cheerful and light-hearted, other days she is desperate about her brother (who is still sick) or other unbelieveable family circumstances. I guess this is how we all are. The chapters of our life are being written and we don’t know what comes next. I just think it’s easier at home (in the States) to THINK you know what tomorrow brings and the likelihood of it happening is greater. I have been amazed by our kids’ response to the poor. Their comfort level with being in a compound, being in a rural village, talking to street kids, etc. has been an example to me.
I know you were looking for a church... when you're in the total midst of serving God - when poor Zambians are in your home and you're able to help a brother or sister with a doctor or give a job to someone... does it make the idea of going to church less relevant because you're seeing God at work so clearly? Does having a faith community matter as much in that setting because maybe you don't need to process where God is in your life as much? I'm just wondering how far normal goes over there because sometimes I feel we spend so much time trying to figure out God's will for us rather than just following Jesus - and maybe we're trying to figure it out as a stalling device to not really do what he wants us to do?
What a GREAT question… Michele wrote me these questions over a month ago and I think I would’ve answered this one differently then…WE MISS OUR CHURCH HOME! So, yes, it does matter to have a faith community. It has been good for us to feel that. As for the other part of her question, her comment, about trying to figure GOD out, instead of DOING it—being kingdom people, feels like the absolute bullseye. That is what the church needs to be about. That is why our church community at home has been so significant for us. If church isn’t motivating us to BE SALT AND LIGHT than we’re just getting fat on theology. I read this Scripture this weekend while we were away and have been chewing on it for a few days…
“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow Up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
~Jesus, Matthew 5:48, The Message
So…here we go…to quote my friend, Kurt Vickman, “we’re just trying to find our way in Jesus…” Thankful for the opportunity for this new context, it is very clarifying. Gotta go, rest time is WAY over and motherhood calls…
I am actually home this week with Clara and Bennett having mild chicken pox. They were both vaccinated, but have gotten them anyway. They are fine, a bit itchy, but really just psyched to be home from school playing together. We’re doing a bit of school each day, keeping the math facts fresh, but mostly just having fun (i.e. our table is covered with art supplies, dress up stuff is on, etc.!)
Mackenzie is knee deep in all that it means to be in your last year of grade school academically. She is in the process of finishing the typing of a (long) short story that she’s written about a family during the Holocaust (she LOVES historical fiction), doing research for her end-of-the-year project, practicing math facts, keyboarding and reading for her book club! She’s so diligent about coming home and getting a snack and jumping into it. She participated in her first swim meet last week also and had a blast.
I am feeling connected to other moms here in some really neat ways. I love the kids’ school, it is very parent-friendly. Have really enjoyed being in the girls’ classrooms. I am a part of a small group of women gathering weekly for meaningful conversation and a Bible study. Have some gals I feel I can call (like if I think my kids have chicken pox!) We have a couple of neighbors (families) who are great that we have spent time with. Thankful for all these connection points—I didn’t expect to have them already at this point.
We just got back from a weekend away in Livingstone, home of Victoria Falls. (You can see some pictures on our photo page.) We had a great time getting away, “camping”—in safari tents, seeing the Falls (albeit they were low because it is the end of the dry season.), watching bungee jumpers, taking a river cruise at sunset, etc. The lodge we stayed at was rich with monkeys, which I’ve always thought of as really cute, but they thought Bennett was really cute, too, and went after him a few times! Seriously. Also, Bennett swam on his own this weekend. It was so exciting, just like all those milestones—he did it. And then there was no stopping him. He swam all afternoon, back and forth across the pool. Very fun.
I felt like I really needed a break from all that goes into our life here in Lusaka…I was tired of dealing with the realities here. I had a boy come to my car window for food as I went into the grocery store on Friday before we left and I almost screamed. I just wanted everyone I saw to be fed and have shoes on and SEEM FINE. The very thing that can drive me (and most of us) nuts about life in the States—everyone looks and acts like they have it all together—is what I was longing for. It’s easier to stay in my own little cocoon that way. There was something nice about getting in the car and seeing it all through the windows as we drove out of town. I felt like an outsider and I needed the space. Is that terrible? It’s honest…
My friend, Michele Steinke, asked me some poignant questions in an email that I think I’ll answer here (with her permission):
You talked about George and Dorothy being so much part of your daily lives- but how radically different their lives are. I can imagine how - but do you get a sense of what they think about rich - I'm assuming mainly white - foreigners coming in for a year or two - doing what you're all doing, and then leaving? It seems there's not tons of Americans - but do you have a sense of what Zambians or G & D are thinking about America? Is it the Promised Land? Do they think we help the world? And are your ideas changing at all?
I asked Dorothy (our maid) a few weeks ago in a really honest, vulnerable conversation if she resented us, if there is any part of her that is angry that we have what we do and she doesn’t and she is IN OUR HOME everyday. She said no. She is so thankful for her job and the setting that it is in. As I am home this week Dorothy is not here (because she hasn’t had the pox) and I am doing the housework. George smiles at me as I am hauling laundry, sweeping the patio, etc. When I told him I haven’t ever had house help before he didn’t believe me. I think there is some level where all they have ever known of white people is what we are—wealthy and only here for awhile. And, with George and Dorothy, there is a STRONG spiritual connection. There is a sense of being a part of the Body of Christ with them—an equality that way which is cool (and maybe different from some of their other experiences.) As far as what other Zambians think, I don’t really know. Most of the Zambians I have intersected with are amazing “Mother Theresa” types who aren’t hung up on who’s here and why and what their motives are. But, I’ll tell you that I am troubled by “us”—mostly white people, coming in for a stint and living. It is hard for me, all the big landcruisers and trucks (including ours) with USAID or DFID (British gov’t aid arm) or BAPTIST MISSION or whatever on them. And most Zambians walking everywhere. It can feel like all the things that are comfortable here (coffee shops, swimming pools, a nice private school) are just here for people like us, and not for most Zambians…it’s confusing…
I know part of Jeff's thing had been to have his family live and be part of the world that has (I forget what percent) but the lower percent of the world - is it what you guys thought the experience would be (so far?) It's still so early on - but any initial thoughts of “this is exactly what I thought it would be like?” or not?
Both, would be my answer. I knew it would be hard to see poverty so up close, day in and day out. I didn’t expect the “can’t it just go away” feelings. It’s also so DYNAMIC. Just when I think I have something sort of “figured out”, it changes. For example, there is this boy who was on the corner by our neighborhood grocery store (again, don’t picture Lund’s or Jerry’s) who I was really getting to know. I had spent quite a bit of time with him. Had been to his house in his compound. Etc. We were out for ice cream with Clara about a month ago and he found us and asked us about going to this other school and if we could pay for it. I knew he hadn’t been going to the school he was supposed to be at.... We had a long talk with him about needing to show us that he would be in school, even though he didn’t like that school and if after a month he had been going, was doing his homework, etc. we could talk about paying for him to go the school he wanted to go to. Haven’t seen him since that night. We were talking to some friends of his just before we left for Victoria Falls and they told me that he is living in an orphanage on the other side of town now. I couldn’t understand the dynamics with his grandmother (his parents have both died). He’s just gone now. (As a side note, which isn’t really a side note: the boys we were talking to all live with their grandmother, too, and would rather be in an orphanage because “at least there you get food every day.”) So, it’s just not ever the same. Some days Dorothy is super cheerful and light-hearted, other days she is desperate about her brother (who is still sick) or other unbelieveable family circumstances. I guess this is how we all are. The chapters of our life are being written and we don’t know what comes next. I just think it’s easier at home (in the States) to THINK you know what tomorrow brings and the likelihood of it happening is greater. I have been amazed by our kids’ response to the poor. Their comfort level with being in a compound, being in a rural village, talking to street kids, etc. has been an example to me.
I know you were looking for a church... when you're in the total midst of serving God - when poor Zambians are in your home and you're able to help a brother or sister with a doctor or give a job to someone... does it make the idea of going to church less relevant because you're seeing God at work so clearly? Does having a faith community matter as much in that setting because maybe you don't need to process where God is in your life as much? I'm just wondering how far normal goes over there because sometimes I feel we spend so much time trying to figure out God's will for us rather than just following Jesus - and maybe we're trying to figure it out as a stalling device to not really do what he wants us to do?
What a GREAT question… Michele wrote me these questions over a month ago and I think I would’ve answered this one differently then…WE MISS OUR CHURCH HOME! So, yes, it does matter to have a faith community. It has been good for us to feel that. As for the other part of her question, her comment, about trying to figure GOD out, instead of DOING it—being kingdom people, feels like the absolute bullseye. That is what the church needs to be about. That is why our church community at home has been so significant for us. If church isn’t motivating us to BE SALT AND LIGHT than we’re just getting fat on theology. I read this Scripture this weekend while we were away and have been chewing on it for a few days…
“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow Up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
~Jesus, Matthew 5:48, The Message
So…here we go…to quote my friend, Kurt Vickman, “we’re just trying to find our way in Jesus…” Thankful for the opportunity for this new context, it is very clarifying. Gotta go, rest time is WAY over and motherhood calls…
posted by The Dykstra Family at 9:21 AM
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