Lessons (re)Learned
Christmas Day, Lake Malawi - Mackenzie (11) Clara (9) Bennett (6)
I'm sitting on our back patio looking out on the tropical forest that is our yard - 3 or 4 straight weeks of daily rain can make it seem like you are literally watching things grow before your eyes. The sun just popped out and you can feel the humidity starting to climb. I guess you could say it is opposite of a Minnesota day in December.
We just got back from a wonderful week spent in neighboring Malawi - a country few people had ever heard of prior to Madonna's adoption of an orphan from the country earlier this year. This is a shame. (That no one knows of Malawi, not Madonna's adoption). The people and the actual country of Malawi are a treasure - easily the friendliest people I've met anywhere and the country itself is beautiful, dominated by the presence of tropical Lake Malawi, which runs the whole length of the country. We spent Christmas at a great resort where we played endlessly in crystal clear, crocodile and disease free water that combined the best features of a lake and an ocean. Pics Here. All in all it was a great end to the year.
Speaking of which, we just celebrated a full year of living in Africa. We arrived back here after our unexpected trip home for Bennett last December 26th. As we face the reality that we are leaving this place and heading home this next summer we are beginning to ask the question, "What has this time meant here?"...We don't have the answers, but we know we want to process the question. Here are a few reflections on some things we have learned/been reminded of in 2007.
1) Where ever you are, there you are...
Moving to the other side of the world, and to Africa no less, you'd think you could show up and really be a new, different, improved version of yourself. Interestingly, all of our various "isms" travelled with us and took up residence in pretty much the same place that they lived in Minnesota. There is no doubt that being in a such a radically different place causes you to re-look at yourself and the world as you know it, but at the end of the day, we have found ourselves wrestling with some of same issues. The bad news in this, is that there is no place any of us can go in this world to get away from ourselves. Whatever fantasy we might hold out along the lines of, "If only I lived/had/did/became/ _________, then I would become the person that God really wants me to be" is, just that, fantasy. The good news of this reality is that we are free, and in fact called, to be exactly what God wants us to become where ever we find ourselves. For as long as I live, I will believe that, for some reason, we were supposed to here in this time, but I have a new appreciation for the fact location does not hinder, or enhance, our choice to be "salt and light."
2) Extreme poverty is daunting and really complex...
I wish this wasn't so. Working for one of the world's largest (and I would argue more effective) aid agencies, you'd think there would be a sense of being able to figure this out if we just had enough resource etc. While I am more impressed than ever with our local field staff and the unbelievable work they do and the life changing difference they make, I am more burdened than ever by how hard change is to come by. On a personal level, our family has made some steps toward trying to help some street kids that our paths frequently intersect. I won't go into the details here, but we are 0-3 in bringing about any real change. If this were the record of a sporting team that would be one thing, but we are talking about being 0-3 in the REAL LIVES of REAL KIDS who are suffering immensely every day. I share this not out of despair (although there are days you can feel this...) but mostly out of the conviction we need to keep humbly working to bring holistic solutions to help the poor in ways that can create lasting change. As Americans we love our "silver bullet" approaches. "If we just do X,Y or Z then we will have this thing fixed." We know that the poor will always be among us, which should keep us humble, but we should not stand for the massive numbers of people around the world that are living in extreme, life threatening poverty. (By the way, the BBC, starting on Jan. 9, is doing a radio series on living on a dollar a day which billions around the world are forced to do...If you are interested, I'm sure you could pick this up online at BBC or podcasts. )
3) To balance point 2, all of us (together) can make a difference....
We arrived home from Malawi to a hand-written note from a woman we met once, for less than 20 minutes. She is the widow of Kelvin, our former security guard. After Kelvin died, our family decided to use some of the TFC funds that many of you have generously contributed to try to help her start something that could generate income for her and her children. In all honesty, I'm sad to say, we have not thought of or prayed for her since I gave her the money. Here is an excerpt of her note, which is really to all of you who have supported TFC.
"...The business is going along fine - My main reason for writing this letter is to thank you for your kindness and good gesture which you showed during and after my husband's death. Sir, may the good Lord almighty, through our savior Jesus Christ, bless you deeply.
I really don't have the words to thank you, but let God alone thank you. Without your help I really do not know what I would have done and how I would have supported the three children that Kelvin left with me.
4) Africa makes sense to an outsider if you are here less than 2 weeks or for more than 10 years....
Someone shared this with us recently and I think it is true. Less than two weeks and you can come up with your own "silver bullet" theory (see point 2) - more than 10 years and you finally begin to come to terms with the beauty, tension, poverty, disappointments, hopes, dreams that are Africa. (So I'm told.) Anything in between this produces blog entries like the one you are reading - discombobulated at worst, hopeful, despairing, confused at best.
5) There is no place like home...
We are all meant and built for community. As powerful as the experience of living here is, it does not compete with the power of relationship and knowing and being known. We will not be fully home this side of heaven (see point number 1) but we are thankful for the approximation that comes from being rooted in a place and pursuing our ultimate home with others we know and love and who know and love us.
Thanks,
Jeff, Molly, Mackenzie, Clara & Bennett
I'm sitting on our back patio looking out on the tropical forest that is our yard - 3 or 4 straight weeks of daily rain can make it seem like you are literally watching things grow before your eyes. The sun just popped out and you can feel the humidity starting to climb. I guess you could say it is opposite of a Minnesota day in December.
We just got back from a wonderful week spent in neighboring Malawi - a country few people had ever heard of prior to Madonna's adoption of an orphan from the country earlier this year. This is a shame. (That no one knows of Malawi, not Madonna's adoption). The people and the actual country of Malawi are a treasure - easily the friendliest people I've met anywhere and the country itself is beautiful, dominated by the presence of tropical Lake Malawi, which runs the whole length of the country. We spent Christmas at a great resort where we played endlessly in crystal clear, crocodile and disease free water that combined the best features of a lake and an ocean. Pics Here. All in all it was a great end to the year.
Speaking of which, we just celebrated a full year of living in Africa. We arrived back here after our unexpected trip home for Bennett last December 26th. As we face the reality that we are leaving this place and heading home this next summer we are beginning to ask the question, "What has this time meant here?"...We don't have the answers, but we know we want to process the question. Here are a few reflections on some things we have learned/been reminded of in 2007.
1) Where ever you are, there you are...
Moving to the other side of the world, and to Africa no less, you'd think you could show up and really be a new, different, improved version of yourself. Interestingly, all of our various "isms" travelled with us and took up residence in pretty much the same place that they lived in Minnesota. There is no doubt that being in a such a radically different place causes you to re-look at yourself and the world as you know it, but at the end of the day, we have found ourselves wrestling with some of same issues. The bad news in this, is that there is no place any of us can go in this world to get away from ourselves. Whatever fantasy we might hold out along the lines of, "If only I lived/had/did/became/ _________, then I would become the person that God really wants me to be" is, just that, fantasy. The good news of this reality is that we are free, and in fact called, to be exactly what God wants us to become where ever we find ourselves. For as long as I live, I will believe that, for some reason, we were supposed to here in this time, but I have a new appreciation for the fact location does not hinder, or enhance, our choice to be "salt and light."
2) Extreme poverty is daunting and really complex...
I wish this wasn't so. Working for one of the world's largest (and I would argue more effective) aid agencies, you'd think there would be a sense of being able to figure this out if we just had enough resource etc. While I am more impressed than ever with our local field staff and the unbelievable work they do and the life changing difference they make, I am more burdened than ever by how hard change is to come by. On a personal level, our family has made some steps toward trying to help some street kids that our paths frequently intersect. I won't go into the details here, but we are 0-3 in bringing about any real change. If this were the record of a sporting team that would be one thing, but we are talking about being 0-3 in the REAL LIVES of REAL KIDS who are suffering immensely every day. I share this not out of despair (although there are days you can feel this...) but mostly out of the conviction we need to keep humbly working to bring holistic solutions to help the poor in ways that can create lasting change. As Americans we love our "silver bullet" approaches. "If we just do X,Y or Z then we will have this thing fixed." We know that the poor will always be among us, which should keep us humble, but we should not stand for the massive numbers of people around the world that are living in extreme, life threatening poverty. (By the way, the BBC, starting on Jan. 9, is doing a radio series on living on a dollar a day which billions around the world are forced to do...If you are interested, I'm sure you could pick this up online at BBC or podcasts. )
3) To balance point 2, all of us (together) can make a difference....
We arrived home from Malawi to a hand-written note from a woman we met once, for less than 20 minutes. She is the widow of Kelvin, our former security guard. After Kelvin died, our family decided to use some of the TFC funds that many of you have generously contributed to try to help her start something that could generate income for her and her children. In all honesty, I'm sad to say, we have not thought of or prayed for her since I gave her the money. Here is an excerpt of her note, which is really to all of you who have supported TFC.
"...The business is going along fine - My main reason for writing this letter is to thank you for your kindness and good gesture which you showed during and after my husband's death. Sir, may the good Lord almighty, through our savior Jesus Christ, bless you deeply.
I really don't have the words to thank you, but let God alone thank you. Without your help I really do not know what I would have done and how I would have supported the three children that Kelvin left with me.
Let God alone pass his favors to you, your family and your friends - I shall never forget what you have done all my life."
Yours Faithfully,
Judith
Once again, I'm reminded that sometimes God does take our efforts, big and small, and multiplies them to accomplish the vision of "His kingdom, on earth as it is in heaven..." I am privileged to work for an organization that is driven by the idea of our hearts being broken by the things that break the heart of God and thankful for the millions of lives that are being improved every day around the world as a result.4) Africa makes sense to an outsider if you are here less than 2 weeks or for more than 10 years....
Someone shared this with us recently and I think it is true. Less than two weeks and you can come up with your own "silver bullet" theory (see point 2) - more than 10 years and you finally begin to come to terms with the beauty, tension, poverty, disappointments, hopes, dreams that are Africa. (So I'm told.) Anything in between this produces blog entries like the one you are reading - discombobulated at worst, hopeful, despairing, confused at best.
5) There is no place like home...
We are all meant and built for community. As powerful as the experience of living here is, it does not compete with the power of relationship and knowing and being known. We will not be fully home this side of heaven (see point number 1) but we are thankful for the approximation that comes from being rooted in a place and pursuing our ultimate home with others we know and love and who know and love us.
Thanks,
Jeff, Molly, Mackenzie, Clara & Bennett
3 Comments:
In response to your lack of thought about the money donated to Kelvin's widow and family:
Don't be at a loss: Because you shared this episode of your life, God has found new ways to touch other people .
I've been randomly working my way through your blogs since we returned to the U.S. I've also enthusiastically encouraged many others to read through your story to help them understand a little bit about Zambia.
For about 2 weeks after I read the story about Kelvin and the wood pile, God burdened me with the task of lifting up Kelvin's family in prayer.
Because you took time to share, God has let others come along side your family and share little bits of your burdens and blessings.
Dykstra family...I have been sitting at a coffee shop for the last three hours going through your website and reading your story from the beginning. I am just now learning about this part of your life and am catching up on the last few years all in one sitting.
The tears have not stopped pouring down my face. I have been run over by emotions of sadness, joy, rage, grief, jealousy, celebration, despair, hope.
I am struck by the spirit of your kids...their tenderness, their realness, the evidence of Jesus' spirit in them, the 'molly and jeff -ness' in them. I am drawn to them. I want to hang out with them and play for awhile.
I am rocked by your stories, your journal entries (Molly's entry on the dychotomy of living there as a rich white person killed me), the way you chose to tell your story there. The whole picture you have provided without glory and overly inflated tales of miraculous intervention, but with deep truth and agony and very clear picture of the reality of your life and of the life of the people you walk by every day. My heart hurts, actually physically hurts right now as I enter into your world. I feel guilty admitting that the hurt actually feels good to me. The good is that the hurt is like an old friend who knows me and that comfort in your gutt when you really feel known. The guilt is that I get to feel that because of other people's poverty and pain.
I don't know how to articulate all that is going on for me right now, but I want you to know that you have gifted me today. In the midst of my life that feels overwhelming (which is why I am sitting in a coffee shop for a few hours alone because my sweet husband took the kids away for a few days to give me quite space to rest and listen) I have run into your story and it has reminded me of lots of things that feel buried way down deep. I am struggling to make life be what I want it to be for my family. Another meeting with disappointment and having to walk with myself and all its broken parts. I am aware that this encounter with your family has much to do with what Jesus has been whispering to me for awhile. You have encouraged my soul. You have reminded me of some things that bring me life.
You are doing it. You are living...with all its tragedy and all its glory. God has given you the severe mercy of experiencing what you have. It is severe....but it is so merciful. I hope you can be encouraged that your life has given me deep joy today.
Thank you. Thank you for the gift you gave me today. Your story brings me life...(and makes me miss you :)
Thank you for sharing your journey with us! It has inspired me more than you know...to follow Jesus into the tension of poverty, to hang in there when I am totally confused by the African way of life and to love at all cost. I feel like I am always two steps behind you and that it comforting to me. I watch you take the next steps and somehow that helps me feel bold enough to take my own next steps. I'm headed back to Uganda for another 6 months next week! I will see you on the continent...look north and imagine me waving in your direction! Kari
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